I was about to go out for a mango shake when my door won’t open. I pulled at it, pulled again, tried to jimmy the lock and finally realized that I am locked inside my house.
Yes. Locked inside. Not outside, INFUCKINGSIDE.
Someone has locked the door from outside.
It took me two tries to explain to a friend that no, I am not locked outside, I am locked within the walls of my own goddamn house. I think he wasn’t even sure that such a thing could happen.
How many people are capable of being locked inside their own house?
APPARENTLY, ONE: ME.
My housemates are not guilty. One of them in on vacation, one at work and the other one is doing acrobatics with her boo.
The only suspect is the girl from HR who has the key to our house. Now, I have another reason to detest her existence on this planet.
If it is her, she is in big trouble.
The back door is jammed.
The front door is fucking locked.
And I have never felt so claustrophobic in a four bedroom villa.