Dear everyone who has ever read any post of mine,
If i ever offer any advice of any sort to you, on this blog or in person, please do NOT listen to a word i have said.
I say this with a very serious face (which you can’t see because I don’t do Vlogs. It would have been a bit funny on vlog though).
I am not going to be annoying and say things like 2016 was a bad year. It was a great year! Turned horrible because yours truly is incapable of making good decisions.
First, I tried to befriend someone who I initially did not have a nice feeling about. I swear I could hear Taylor swift yelling “Trouble! Trouble! Trouble!” but I ignored her because I am stupid. Guess what happened..
Also, remember that time I went to give my IELTS test in the middle of nowhere? And then I decided that I could walk all the way from there to City Center to grab a “quick” snack? And then I walked all the way to City Center because there was no taxi at all? Wait, I didn’t tell you? Ah, probably because I was too embarrassed.
And that one time I stayed at Paloma later than 1:00a.m?
But the best one of all: I decided to come home to karachi for two weeks. Because?
A friend was getting married and when she had gotten engaged earlier this year I had given her my word that I was going to be there when she gets married. My word, like I am Winston Fucking Churchill or something. But how the hell was i supposed to know she’s going to tie the knot the same year?!
The moment I landed in karachi, a wave of depression hit me.
Firstly, the weather was unbelievable. It was the end of December and we were still using fans.
Second, my mother had a long list of people that she wanted me to see and events that she wanted me to attend. Why my family refuses to acknowledge my absolute introvert-ism is something I can never understand.
Mum’s denial of my introvertism lead to me being coerced into attending something called a “musical night”. I am not exaggerating but I have been traumatised ever since. As if the music itself wasn’t bad enough, there was one guy who kept telling jokes. Awful, just plain awful jokes which were often a bit PG for the audience that had gathered there. One of the singers even had the ball to urge me for requests. Are u kidding me? I don’t think he could have played Arctic Monkeys.
Another meet and greet arranged led to me being asked extremely inquisitive and annoying questions by extremely inquisitive and annoying people, like “Have you met someone there?”, “Tell me about Arab guys!” and the best of all and often repeated: “I have heard Arab guys are hot. Is it true?”
I really feel like swearing now.
Still a week to go. But hopefully I have learned my lesson by now.