I love swearing. I do. It comes naturally to me and if I can swear in front of you, then you know we are really, really tight.
Having said that, I refrain from swearing while at work.
With the guests, I mean.
Not my team mates. OF COURSE NOT. Are u kidding me? They need to be sweared at.
And I feel really awkward when a guest does so. Specially when I have never met them before. It’s hard to hold back all the swears in my head. Or throat.
So this guy comes in, looking very normal and Pakistani. Until he opens his mouth.
So he’s from England. With a very nice accent. And we haven’t even exchanged our first names yet when he tells me..
“My P.A robbed me. She robbed me.”
“Oh, I am very sorry..”
“Fucking bitch. Fucking, fucking bitch.”
*Weird glance exchange between my work mate and I/me*
“Oh, I am sorry. I am not supposed to swear am I? Because this is Pakistan”
NO, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SWEAR BECAUSE EVERYONE IN QUEUE BEHIND YOU CAN HEAR YOU.
“but she’s a fuck..sorry. Freaking biatch“.
Because there’s no way anyone can any trace similarities between fucking bitch and freaking biatch.
So then he needed help with some work-thingy and I took him to the business center and he starts again.
“I never should have fucked her.”
And then, word of wisdom:
“Don’t screw anyone at your work. Don’t.”
Oh, you’re one to talk.
“I paid for her fucking honeymoon. Can you believe that?”
Seeing you now, yes.
He was disgusting. I just felt so disgusted by him. You know how there are some people and you just shudder when you see them? No? Okay, well seeing him is like that.
Not only did I feel disgusted with him pouring these unwanted pieces of information on me, but I felt like he was literally fucking my mind. I felt icky and weird and dirty.
“I paid for the champagne in the suite!”
She booked a suite on his credit card. Dayyuum! You go girl!
“I should never have hired an attractive P.A. I should get an ugly P.A next time.”
All in all, I think it’s just karma. He screwed her and she screwed him back. Life’s a bitch and karma is always lurking around the corner. And the sooner we ALL understand it, the better!