I Had An Epiphany

It’s funny how seeing different things at different times of your life affects your differently. That’s too much different for one sentence.

But yeah, it really does.

I watched Fracture for the sixth time yesterday. I love that movie. Usually, I’m more of a romantic comedy kind and occasionally an action flick lover, but you just can’t miss a movie starring Anthony Hopkins and Ryan Gosling. It’s just too good.

So I’m watching this movie and there comes a scene I have seen a thousand times but never really paid attention to. Ryan Gosling, who plays Willy Beachum, asks for help from a sweet co-worker of his, who obviously likes him. (Like it’s possible for people to not like Ryan Gosling). And he asks for a favour and she agrees to help because she likes him. Only, Willy never dates that girl. Yes, she’s sweet and he’s polite to her but no, he doesn’t date her.Even as an audience, you wouldn’t want him to date that girl. He dates the other girl.

And all of a sudden I felt like House M.D, having an epiphany.

That girl in the movie, the one who works at his office? That’s me.I’m Mona. I’m the nice, polite girl who’s always happy to see Ryan (in my case, Carl) and eager to bend over backwards for him. Or so to say. But that’s it. I’m just the nice girl, who is willing to do him favours. Getting his clothes ironed, ordering free food for him from our Sissy. That’s about it.

Ryan doesn’t go for the normal office girl. Instead, he goes for the glamorous girl. The rich girl. Calm and composed (well, mostly composed. There were a lot of times I thought she might cry while saying her dialogues).

So him being all polite and friendly with me? It wasn’t a sign. It was just him being Willy Beachum. It was just him being nice. All the favours he asked? Those were not signs. Not even the touching part.

And yes, I can’t believe I’m still crying over him.

So, what if I am? I got rejected. Humans don’t do well with rejection. I’m no different.

God, I’m dancing on the edges of pathetic. I might varmint right here.I h

Zareen Naqvi


2 thoughts on “I Had An Epiphany

  1. Aw I’m sorry to hear that you’re heartbroken. It’s not a good feeling but you deserve someone who will treat you well and have strong feelings for you. So stay strong and take your time with the “healing” part and one day you will say: Carl who? Lots of love

    Liked by 1 person

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