I Deserve To Be Murdered Because I Dress Nice


Ignore the awkwardness of my right hand, and give it to me straight. Honestly, am I bearing too much skin? Do I look like a attention seeking whore? Do I look trashy?

Apparently so.

Since I work mostly evening shifts, I can only go to such shenanigans before three in the afternoon. AFK is nearer to L’hotel so after the Cultural Festival I went to directly to work, without going home for a change of clothes. When I took charge at the desk, my manager who’s happily married, at least apparently, remarked on how hot I looked in that lime shirt and how all the security guards were gawking at me.

I thought it was creepy and just nearly slightly funny. So I related it to a friend.

This friend is more of a pessimist than I am. He didn’t find it funny. At all. Instead he made it very clear that I was making myself a target.

In Pakistan, people excel at two things: being conservative and being self-proclaimed self righteous hypocrites. The openly condemn women who go out of home to work or women who know how to dress well. Yet we see most of the men, living off their wives’ paychecks and openly gawking and even enjoying checking out beautifully dressed women.

It makes perfect sense. People around me are disgusting, so I should live my life in a cage, in a shuttle-cock burka and black abaya like a ninja.

He related an incident from years ago, when a Rickshaw driver killed seven female passengers, because they were working women, and dressed nicely. Because surely, they must be corrupt. Why else would women work outside of home when they have a man in the house to earn? Why would they dress so nicely? To seek attention from others? Probably. Being the demented person that he was, he murdered them and dumped their bodies in a lake nearby.

My friend’s argument was that I should cover myself up because people here are sick.

Wait..what about work then? I meet crazy people at work too. Being the bastards that they are, they’ll probably try to take advantage of me. So I should definitely throw in a resignation since I can’t wear a burka to work.

But there’s more. I should probably stop travelling outside of home too, just in case some creepy predator starts following me.

But wait! What about university? Well, I could always replace that with online education. Who gives a damn about the social aspect of being in a university anyway?!

To make things even better, my dad had pretty much the same comments. It was either really funny or really disturbing, that both my dad and my friend think along the same lines. It’s also hilarious, and I mean completely ROFL-hilarious how  his fatherly instincts have been activated after two years of complete absence. He tells me to not travel in a rickshaw because it’s too unsafe. I can’t imagine what other form of transport he wants me to use. Unless, of course, he’s buying me a RX-8 for my birthday tomorrow.

I know my “friend” and my “dad” are generous with their advice because they love me and are concerned about my safety. But you know how some people say “When women get raped, they’re asking for it“? Yeah, it kind of felt like that. Like I was to be blamed if anything happened to me.

What sort of thinking is this? Are we always going to be in this decadent state? Can we ever grow out of such thinking? Should I immigrate somewhere ASAP?

Zareen Naqv


15 thoughts on “I Deserve To Be Murdered Because I Dress Nice

    1. Yes, it annoys me to extreme lengths that people fuss over what I wear. They should serioously get a life.
      Thanks for reading, commenting and siding with me! 😃

      Liked by 1 person

  1. You trashy in that outfit?!!! You’ve got to be kidding me! Great post Zareen..I think its really annoying in soceities like ours where you have to constantly be conscious of ourselves and the way we dress to conform to men and their twisted and perverted thoughts and all this in the name of ‘modesty’ even when there is absolutely nothing wrong in the way you dress. I wonder when this mentality is going to change.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know!!! It didn’t used to bother me but i guess i have been kind of touchy lately.
      But really, it just irritates me! I guess you can relate to it too since we are more or less from the same background.
      I do hope we grow out of such narrow mentality. Thanks for reading and commenting honey!❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Extremists will always find reasons to hate — the burka might not be the right color, or the abaya made of the wrong cloth. They are the problem — not the people who are simply trying to live their lives in peace and happiness. Still, you will have to be especially attentive and sensitive to your surroundings, because you refuse to submit to such foolishness.

    Liked by 1 person

        1. Of course, it’s pretty much the same here. A lot of people do still wear it.
          There’s a woman in our hotel’s kitchen who wears a proper, tight scarf and her chef hat too. I can’t imagine how she works in such condition!


  3. It sounds to me like your father and friend are coming from a place of fear. This fear probably stems from the feeling that if you don’t conform you’ll be hurt. They probably feel just as oppressed by cultural norms as you are in their own way, hence their subtle oppression of you. The only way you could break out of this oppression is if you start a movement (which is not hard if you have the drive). If you can get enough progressive people to believe that change is possible; you could fix this problem for good… but do you have the balls? Or are you going to resign yourself to being nothing more than another voice on the Internet that decries injustice without doing anything about it?


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