Big Boys Don’t Cry

Three years ago, somewhere in the middle of sociology class, I had an epiphany.

Hey! I should take up Gender Studies!

It seemed like the most obvious thing to do. Any article online that had the word “gender” or “gay”, awoke the curious rabbit inside of me who won’t stop jumping until I had memorized that article. There was a strange need of knowing why and how we are the way we are.

Also, the socialization concept indirectly blamed parents if the child grew up to be a fuck-up adult. I loved that. I loved the concept so much, I often pointed it out to my mom to piss her off.

Moreover, I really wanted to prove to all the narrow-minded people out there that being gay is not a “choice”.

Imagine the extent of my happiness when I was given psychology as a course during my first semester at Bitches. An opportunity  to rant about how experiences shape us and make us the type of twisted people we are. A chance to discuss gender, stereotypes and culture.

Now imagine the extent of my disappointment, when I realized that not one person in the room shared my views. And the one person who did share was too shy to say so. They are so insecure and narrow-minded, that the slight mention of the words “gay” and “sexuality” would turn them against me.

They might conjure up a plan and have me abducted. Or killed. I’m not exaggerating. It’s a definite possibility. Remember the teacher who wanted to break his daughter’s leg for wearing jeans?

So I sit through psychology class with a tape on my lips, my voice dying to break out.

What is strange and unbelievable for me is the fact that a teacher, who claims to have completed her bachelors in Sociology, is actually promoting stereotypes.

“Are girls more aggressive or boys? Anyone? Boys, right? Studies have proven…”

Because I am can’t tell her what I really think without the possibility of offending her and ruining my grade, I have decided I’ll just show this video to her. It’s a video made by Indians. Albeit the rivalry between the two nations, I do want to give them a standing O for this brilliant piece.

Boys don’t cry| Vogue India

What are your views on stereotypes? To what extent do you think stereotypes are correct? Should we be forcing our children to follow stereotypes? Which stereotype do you absolutely hate?

Zareen Naqvi

11 thoughts on “Big Boys Don’t Cry

  1. Wait, the professor in your gender studies class is against homosexuality?? What the what? That’s shocking and disappointing.

    I actually took quite a few gender studies classes. It’s fascinating to me as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. And also, shes pro-every-fucking-stereotype. Also, if you disagree with her or if she doesnt like what you said, shes going to target you. Its bizzare.

      You did? You’re ten times cooler to me now 😉 I would too if I could!


  2. Oh, my. I’m very sorry you’ve faced such close-mindedness in your class/community. That must be incredibly frustrating and anger-inducing.

    Gender, sexuality, identity, and societal pressures on all are such important issues for discussion.
    Because of that, from September 1 – mid October, I teach a self-created seven-week unit on gender/bias/stereotypes with my HS English students (approx. 50 15 year-olds) and we look at and dissect society’s way of labeling and the damage it causes. We also cover and uncover/expose topics concerning gender typing, transgender, gay and lesbian issues, as well as the portrayal of gender in children’s movies and books (i.e. Disney) and the media’s use of photoshop etc, that negatively affects male and female gender identity, among other related topics. Students are encouraged to dig into the issues and discuss. They are writing research projects around these topics right now.

    So there is hope!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad you can understand. It is at time depressing too because you can’t expect much from a nation that denies its people basic human rights.

      This is truly brilliant! I would have attended it to if it were possible. You see, by talking about these topics and making an effort to understand those around us, we are building a better society.
      What youre doing is excellent! Please always keep teching!


  3. Thanks for sharing the video Zareen…and your post reflects our taboo society…we are stuying subjects like psychology and sociology but hardly few have balls to talk about it openly…good post dear 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy that you liked it. It’s true that some indians Mahduri, imran khan etc are standing up for the right cause.
      Thank you for your encouraging words, Aarya! 🙂


  4. I imagine there is a good deal of pressure in public educational institutions in Islamic countries for professors to color within the lines — conflicting, of course, with the fact that open discussion is so important for understanding, and in sociology especially.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do understand. When i was in Lahore, my teacher was extremely open minded and we would often end up in numerous debates. I guess i just feel bad for the other children. They don’t know what they are missing!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Amusing usual..I used to be so annoyed when freinds used to post hash tags on facebook #totallylamo..boy, I have a lot of catching up to do on your blog! #makingmyselfacuppa#zareensblogrocks……hehe get on your nerves yet?


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